Is it possible to feel positive about someone that hurt your feelings? The thing with comfort zone is that sometimes our own feelings are the ones limiting it. Hurt feelings shrink our comfort zone; thus keeping us from doing bigger, better things in life.

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” When a person gets their feelings hurt, it makes them angry and that anger results in them cowering them down and shutting everyone and everything out. This type of behavior shrinks your comfort zone. Hurt feelings suck but they are the very tool you need to expand your comfort zone.

When we use hurt feelings instead of being a victim of them, amazing things start to happen. Hurt feelings lead to anger. Anger triggers a similar biological process as fear. The first thing that anger increases your heart rate pumping blood to all the parts of your body so you are ready to take action. It increases your breathing super oxygenating your blood so your body has the energy it needs to take action. Anger releases adrenaline so your reaction times are faster and you have access to immense strength.

The second great hidden potential that hurt feelings carry is a proof that we care. Caring for something means that we feel love towards it. Otherwise it would not hurt. Love gives us the liberty to rise above and transcend almost anything. With love, we automatically gain the strength and passion to tackle problems and find better solutions.

It’s a fact that love provides better solutions. Take Nelson Mandela, the leader of South Africa. He spent most of his life being persecuted and imprisoned. Once he came into power he did not seek revenge. To heal the nation he set up commissions called Truth and Reconciliation. This commission, brought victims and victimizers together to have an open debate and an exchange about the abuse. This commission healed a country.

The reason this worked was the love in the hearts of people that allowed them to overcome hurt. Love allowed them to heal, let go of the violence and thoughts of retaliation and revenge. This process allowed South Africa to become a shining example that transformation is possible for us all.

So hurt feelings aren’t really all that bad, are they?! If we keep using them in the traditional way, they spiral us down and shrink our comfort zone. If we use them as a tool we can immediately utilize that energy for the greater good in ourselves and for the people around us. Think of all emotions as swords with two edges, make sure you use the edge that helps you grow.

Check out the rest of the articles from the Comfort Zone series:

Comfort Zone – Part1: Your Comfort Zone – Your Friend or Foe

Comfort Zone – Part3: Transcend Discouragement

Comfort Zone – Part4: Death is the Ultimate Motivator

About the author 

Umar Hameed


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Ghandi, hurt feelings


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