New York, NY—-Holly Parker first made her mark as a highly successful realtor. An industry leader with the prestigious Douglas Elliman firm in New York City, she has sold over $8 billion worth of luxury real estate.
Now she has turned her golden touch to writing. In her breakout new book “Back on the Market: A Realtor’s Guide to Love and Life,” Parker cleverly shows that real estate is a lot like life…and life is a lot like real estate…” Her theme is looking for, then finding, love and keeping it—a hard scramble but something to …build… on just like the best real estate. But if she were to do an … addition… she’d tell you the most important thing is to fall in love with yourself and be your own best friend.
After all, Holly would say that there are foundations to both mansions and marriages, and that contracts are signed between home buyers and realtors as well as wedded couples. Sometimes those marriage contracts are broken but there’s always the chance ahead of a … new deal.
This book is Holly’s own story told with humor and wit. She was married seven years before she found herself “falling out of contract.” Then divorced …. She …closed… that old deal and found herself “back on the market” … and it was bearish to begin with. But no fear, after many market fluctuations in her search for romance, she met Mr. Right, is now happily married and the mother of twins.
Parker hilariously describes the perils of life, love and dating. She classifies some of her old (would-be) beaux in terms only a realtor could use: there were “fixer uppers,” “forever renters,” and “guys with good bones,” just to name a few. And then, of course, she can apply some of those very same terms to her real estate clients.
Her ultimate theme is “renewal”—either personal or… in real estate. Buying a new house is an American rite of passage, emblematic of “starting over.” Making a house into a home is a personal mission…. One that Holly would say can be …accomplished.
Parker’s pursuit of happiness was also a mission accomplished. And she leaves readers with the message that happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. Like any good realtor, she’ll gladly tell you that the … key … to life is to continue to forge ahead, take the next step and … close the deal.
Holly is truly the ultimate romantic realtor. The book will be published in December and can be pre-ordered now.
[Podcast Transcript Using Artificial Intelligence]
Umar Hameed 0:01
Are you ready to become awesomer? Hello everyone! My name is Umar Hameed, I'm your host on The No Limits Selling Podcast, where industry leaders share their tips, strategies and advice on how you can become better, stronger, faster. Just before we get started, I've got a question for you, do you have a negative voice inside your head? We all do, right? I'm gonna help you remove that voice and under 30 days guaranteed, not only remove it, but transform it. So instead of the voice that sabotages you, there's one that propels you to much higher levels of performance and success. There's a link in the show notes, click on it to find out more. All right! Let's get started.
Umar Hameed 0:40
Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of The No Limits Selling Podcast where we talk to industry leaders on how they grow their team, their revenue and themselves. And that's probably the most important part. Today super excited to announce we've got our app coming out in it's called Mindset Boosters. It is software for your mind, it will give you the power to decide how you show up if you need to feel more powerful, or unstoppable, or like have anxiety. You can do it in minutes and we'll show you how to do that, it's totally brilliant. But today, I have the privilege of having Holly Parker with me today. She's the leader of the Holly Parker Team. Holly, welcome to the program.
Holly Parker 1:15
Thank you so much. So happy to be here.
Umar Hameed 1:18
Excellent. So how many people in your team? How many agents? How many admin folks?
Holly Parker 1:22
We have 15 people on our team, we have three Support and 12 Brokers?
Umar Hameed 1:28
Excellent. So 12 hunters out there. I love it.
Holly Parker 1:31
Umar Hameed 1:32
So how do you keep them inspired? How do you make sure they're at the top of their game?
Holly Parker 1:37
Oh, gosh, well, we you know, we're in New York City. And we've sold over $10 billion of real estate. We have been number one or two in Manhattan for seven years running now so we're really proud of that.
Umar Hameed 1:54
Holly Parker 1:56
It's not often that a team goes to the top and stays there for that amount of time so we're really, really proud. One of the things that we're most proud of that we were number one during 2020. And we all saw on TV, how hard of that was for New York and COVID and what it really did to the city. So keeping back to your question, how do you keep the team motivated? Optimism is something we talk a lot about. And that is, you know, from the top down because they're going to absorb, you know, what's what's going on with me. And in 2020, it was really important to me to stay optimistic as a team, certainly for New York, because there was a lot of people out there saying, naysayers saying, "This city is done and...
Umar Hameed 2:54
Holly Parker 2:56
...[garbled] Everybody's leaving, we won't, we won't be back." So it was really important to keep the love of New York live and strong as as we do, you know, now every day still. And really pass it down to all my team members and get their enthusiasm up because love wins overall. So if we can hang on to what we love we can really get through.
Umar Hameed 3:26
Absolutely. So in my worldview, love and fear are on the same continuum, that on the plus side is all love and the other side, it starts going negative, that it's almost a coin, and one side of the coin is love and the other side is fear. And what are your thoughts on that? How do they relate? Do they relate?
Holly Parker 3:45
I think I think you're absolutely correct on that. And I think it's a natural instinct, when you have something that you love that there is, that it can turn fear-based. So then we start analyzing well, when does that happen? When...
Umar Hameed 4:05
Holly Parker 4:05
...do we turn fear-based, right? And so often it can be when we're tired, when we're exhausted, when we're burned out, when we're not getting our basics of what we need. And sometimes even when we have everything that we need, it doesn't, you know, fear can still come in that moment. So to kind of come up with a plan, one of one of my coaches said to me sometime, let's play that out. Let's play out that fear," and then what? And then what? And then what? So you get back, you know, to the bottom of your fear and you come up with a plan of.
Umar Hameed 4:06
Holly Parker 4:08
And then you're dealing with this and then what? And then you have the plan of how you're going to deal with it and then you're back.
Umar Hameed 4:20
Brilliant. One of the ways I look at that whole continuum is zones like sunshine coming down on a park and where the tree is, there's a shadow on the ground and that there's still love underneath it. There's darkness there and and asking those questions lets you get back down to the ground and be grounding, "Okay. This is the real situation, there's not that much to be afraid of it seems scarier up. If you go four levels up, it's like hairy, scary," and then so I love that going down to. And then once you're there, then what are you going to do? Then you kind of work your way up. So tell me Holly, as you know, you need to be the leader, and also the cheerleader to keep everybody motivated. Tell me about a time when you were going through this where you're like, "What do I do?" Tell me about one of those moments and how you overcame it?
Holly Parker 5:36
Oh, God. I would say mostly that was in a lot of moments of my life. And, you know, I actually wrote a book about being at the bottom of that darkness, called, Back On The Market. When I had gotten divorced, I was in my 30s, so I wasn't sleeping. So that fear really crept into my thoughts. I said, you know, late nights are prey on the on the sleepy in the weary, right?
Umar Hameed 5:36
Holly Parker 5:36
So, you know, what I did was, I had to get a team that was, that was, that I could really rely on I started building out my team. But mostly I would carve out time for myself, right? And that, in that terrible, terrible moment, I start drinking caffeine, I start drinking alcohol.
Holly Parker 5:36
Holly Parker 5:57
Those things, right? All of those crutches that we need,
Umar Hameed 6:08
Holly Parker 6:26
I took them away. I started running more miles, several times a week to kind of give me that natural serotonin. And I went to my healers, my Yogi's my therapists, as I, as I say, in the book, I really started from the foundation up, and I had to rebuild my foundation, so that that fear didn't bring me to my knees as it was doing, right? Because when we're stressed from an outside source, all of a sudden the fear comes in, and then that's a, it's a snowball, it can get bigger and bigger and bigger, because fear can make us freeze and become smaller and smaller. So for me, I had to work on my foundation, and then you can start building. But if you just press yourself too much, right? If you know that you're driving a car and something sounding funny, and you say, "That's it, I'm just going to put more gas on this to get where I'm going well, then you're totally going to break down." And that's the same with a listing with a home, if there's something unbelievably wrong, you're going to get to an offer, but during the inspection that's going to come up and the deals gonna break.
Umar Hameed 8:05
Holly Parker 8:05
And same, I tie, I tie ourselves and our relationships to real estate in my book and cross tie both love is real estate and real estate is is love and life. And we've learned lessons on both sides that we can utilize to propel us forward.
Umar Hameed 8:27
So tell me about one of your agents, like don't name names, somebody that you know, was faltering, or had the fear or the doubt and A, how you recognized it and B, how you got them to transcend it and realize, "It's not the end of the world and you are more amazing than you think."
Holly Parker 8:44
Well, you know, again, relating this to real estate, sometimes sellers come to us and think that their home is worth a lot more than it is with...
Umar Hameed 8:46
Holly Parker 8:47
...sometime. Sometimes people don't know the value that it has either. And all you need to do is clean it up because there's too much stuff in there that's not serving them.
Umar Hameed 9:08
Holly Parker 9:08
Paint the walls, right? Turn all the lights on make sure they're the bulbs are in and the windows are clean, to let the light in. And once we go through this process, people the sellers will look and say, "Oh my gosh, wow, it looks so good. Now I, now I see what you mean, I'm now you know, I love it so much. This is great." And when a property feels loved, then the buyers are going to see that love and want a part of it.
Holly Parker 9:43
Holly Parker 9:43
So getting back to your question. Sometimes agents have that clutter in their life, right?
Umar Hameed 9:51
Holly Parker 9:51
They're not cleaning their windows. They're not they need a fresh coat of paint. So they need time to love up themselves seeing their own value. And so many of us can get bogged down by exhaustion, or challenges that we're dealing with hurdles, setbacks, that we lose sight of our own value. And I am, you know, wrote the book about knowing your worth. And I work with my, with my sellers, about their own worth, but also my agents about knowing their worth, and taking things out of their life, people out of their life, things out of their life, that is, that is no longer serving them. So, you know, once they connect to that, it's so exciting to see the results.
Umar Hameed 10:48
Brilliant. So as I look at Holly today, and you look amazing, I'm gonna be looking at Holly three years from now, and I bet that Holly's gonna be even more awesomer than you. So what are you working on to be that Holly three years from now? Like, what, how do you notice when you have something that needs work done upon? A, what have you discovered and what are you working on right now to be better, stronger, faster?
Holly Parker 11:11
Better, stronger, faster? Well, I've been in this career now for 28 years. And so it's important for me, although, of course, I keep learning in real estate, I would say the turning my own lights on. So that means that I need to stimulate myself. And so I you know, writing this book, I'd never written a book before. And right now it's being so back on the market,
Umar Hameed 11:40
Holly Parker 11:41
[garbled]. And I, that it's actually being made into a series.
Umar Hameed 11:47
Holly Parker 11:48
Really exciting to me and going to LA and working with the writers to get this, you know, all worked out for a series is is something that's super exciting for me that turns my lights on. I am doing, I'm an executive producer, and a documentary that is just being finished for anxious. It's called an Anxious Nation, it's about anxiety, and children.
Umar Hameed 12:15
Holly Parker 12:16
And yeah, and that's really exciting. We just submitted to Toronto Film Festival,
Umar Hameed 12:23
Holly Parker 12:24
Umar Hameed 12:25
I'm in Toronto today, by the way.
Holly Parker 12:27
Oh, how cool.
Umar Hameed 12:28
So if you want me to bother up somebody here, let me know, I'll go do it.
Holly Parker 12:32
Please, please. So if we get accepted to that I'll be coming your way.
Umar Hameed 12:36
Holly Parker 12:37
Which is really exciting. And then hopefully, that's, that's a one part documentary of, of anxiety and a lot of us different different people in different industries. We certainly you know, I say we're in the anxiety business, because moving is one of the top three hardest challenges that we deal with. And so that's what we do, right? We coach, we coach, how to, how to deal with that anxiety.
Umar Hameed 13:04
So what I was suggesting was the, you know, the American Military, I mean, what a bunch of fools they held these people that [garbled]. All they had to do was ask them to move and they would have said, "No, no, I'll tell you where Bin Laden is, don't make me move."
Holly Parker 13:17
Umar Hameed 13:18
It's torture moving. So tell me up all this is going on? How do you balance leadership at your real estate firm with all the other projects you're doing?
Holly Parker 13:29
You know, that's balanced is something that we're always working on, right? I'm a mom of twins who are eight years old.
Umar Hameed 13:35
Holly Parker 13:37
Yeah. But turning your lights on is essential. That's your gasoline, right? What makes what drives you is really, really critical. Because if, if you're not getting inspired, that's going to leak into every single part of your life, how you feel about your own value, how you feel about your family, your friends, your work. So turning your own lights on is super critical. And like anything, you got to turn, you got to put your own mask on before helping others. So carving out space to connect with yourself, connect with your property, right your own property...
Umar Hameed 14:18
Holly Parker 14:19
...is very, very important and needs to be the first thing that you do every day. And knowing yourself enough to go, "Hey, I'm on empty. I need to carve out more time." I found that if I don't do it first thing in the morning, it's probably not going to happen. And so just getting in a routine to have that time with yourself. Meditate, set your intentions. So you know, hey, you know, I need, I need more passion to...
Umar Hameed 14:58
Holly Parker 14:58
...make me drive faster, smoother. What are my passions? And how am I going to harness them?
Umar Hameed 15:04
Brilliant. So you've got twins. So how do you teach them to turn their lights on and how is it different for each one of them? Do they have different strategies because [garbled]?
Holly Parker 15:13
Oh, gosh, they're so different. So one is a music fav, so he loves to play the piano. So I, you know, encourage him to take that time and, and compose and play and really exercise that passion, because he certainly has a natural talent there. And the other one is a bit like me, and he loves people. And yesterday, we spent the day in front of our house in the country selling lemonade.
Umar Hameed 15:22
Oh, love it.
Holly Parker 15:29
And when he got up, he said, "Mom, I'm going to make $100 today." And I heard myself saying, "Hey, I, it's great to have goals. I love that but we're not on a very busy street, buddy," and, and that's a really high goal. And I thought, why am I clipping his wings here, I might just, you know, I need to kind of fall more into the supporting role but, you know, I don't want to limit him. And he decided that, that's what it was going to be. And we were there for most of the day from nine until about four o'clock, but when you know it, he made about $87.
Umar Hameed 16:34
Holly Parker 16:36
So he practically hit his goal and he learned how to be you know, flagged down those cars and, and was kind of perfecting his his sales tactics throughout the day.
Umar Hameed 16:50
He's a chip off the old block, I suspect.
Holly Parker 16:52
Umar Hameed 16:54
He's a chip off the old block tells person like his mom.
Holly Parker 16:57
Great to see. It was great to see the hustle, I loved it.
Umar Hameed 17:01
Brilliant. So as you move forward, and in other parts of the country, we're seeing an inflection point in real estate, where all of a sudden is not every property is super hot anymore, where they've got interest rates are going up. So how are you prepping your team, that when the inflection point hits Manhattan, and things start changing, they don't panic?
Holly Parker 17:24
Well, you know, you gotta make hay when the sun is shining so a lot of people are packing up for the summer. And, you know, they're independent agents, so they're gonna make their own decisions but you know, I'm working through the summer, I'm not going to take take it off the way I might have, during other great times, not that I ever took off the whole summer but you know what I mean, take take...
Umar Hameed 17:51
Holly Parker 17:51
...more time for yourself. I believe that it's one of those summers, that you gotta hustle even harder because, you know, there's, there's some tricky things out there on our horizon. And if they ended up being more optimistic than we thought, well, no one's gonna say, "Well, I wish I didn't, I didn't work so hard," but but this is a time I think that you really got to hustle. And, you know, what we do now is what we're going to reap six months from now, with the work and the planning and the marketing. So we could really need some extra fuel if, if the markets kind of fall apart the way some people are predicting, and so why take your foot off the gas now?
Umar Hameed 18:43
Absolutely. And so you've got a set of values and culture for your company, how do you instill it into the hearts and minds of the people that work for you? Like writing on the wall is one thing but how do you write it in their hearts?
Holly Parker 18:59
Well, you know, you lead by example. We have meetings every every Monday at nine, getting everybody fueled up for the week.
Umar Hameed 19:09
Holly Parker 19:09
And you know, every other week in person and talk a lot about really challenges of staying at the top, staying at the top of any industry, staying at the top as a person. Having integrity, having real connections and being authentic with everything that we do. So I that's who I am and how I've conducted business over the years. And I think I'm a good example for the fact that that works, you don't have to be anything other than who you are. You just got to make sure the energies there because life can be tiring.
Umar Hameed 19:55
Holly Parker 19:55
And so you got to keep yourself fueled up and only you know the answers to how to keep your tank full.
Umar Hameed 20:04
And I would actually disagree with that. I think a lot of people are lost, and they need leaders to help them see that, and see the best in themselves and embrace that version of themselves. Because a lot...
Holly Parker 20:16
Umar Hameed 20:16
...of times, we don't have the gift of a great mentor in our lives before. But two things before we part company, Holly, number one, what makes you happy?
Holly Parker 20:26
Gosh, I'm a I'm a caretaker. So I'm happy when the people are happy around me. So when my sellers are really happy, when my buyers are thrilled, when my kids are happy, when my family and friends are happy, that's what, that's what makes me sore, that's it fills my tank.
Umar Hameed 20:43
Holly Parker 20:44
So I feel really good about that.
Umar Hameed 20:47
And what is a mind hack or a trick that you use to be more productive, more successful, happier, stronger, faster? Like what's the one thing you'd like to share with the world?
Holly Parker 20:57
Well, you know, throughout my career, I've always done a mood board, I've always had things that I've, I've really wanted. And I always wanted a place where I could have my family and friends. And so I would put up pictures of what that looked like. And when I was dealing with a very hard deal and it seemed impossible, I'd look up from my desk and I'd see this beautiful view of a farm and sunflowers...
Umar Hameed 21:32
Holly Parker 21:31
...[garbled. So I'm really, really dream about what you want my my dream of that came true. And I every time I'm there, I pinch myself, I can't believe it. [Garbled].Yeah, and it's even more beautiful in in reality than it then it wasn't my dreams. So it's almost 100 acres. And I've got my sunflowers and my big vegetable garden and a 1729 year old farmhouse so...
Umar Hameed 21:36
Holly Parker 21:47
Yeah, it's it's, it's really it's really amazing. And I'm still working for that. So...
Umar Hameed 22:12
Holly Parker 22:12
You gotta have a dream and you gotta pedal real fast to get that dream.
Umar Hameed 22:17
Love it. Holly a few things before we part company, number one, bravo. Last time we spoke was about a year and a half ago, and the book had come out and now he's going to be made into a movie or a TV show, which is like super brilliant.
Holly Parker 22:31
Umar Hameed 22:31
And you're doing great things and hats off to you. And thank you so much for being on the show again.
Holly Parker 22:37
Thank you for having me. Thanks so much.
Umar Hameed 22:44
If you enjoyed this episode, please go to iTunes and leave a five star rating. And if you're looking for more tools, go to my website at no limit selling.com I've got a free mind training course there that's going to teach you some insights from the world of neuro linguistic programming, and that is the fastest way to get better results.