I never thought so. I mean why would it?
Should I really share my truth, my private thoughts with another?
What possible good would it do to reveal my vulnerability?
Here are three data points to consider:
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I was reading Jonny Cash’s biography (it’s worth the read by the way). In it, he talks about his days in the Air Force during WWII. He was stationed in Germany as an intercept operator.
It was common place for girls back home to break up with their enlisted boyfriends. Can you imagine the impact of getting a Dear John letter? There are many ways to handle this type of rejection. Share the heartache with a friend or carry the burden oneself.
The Air Force troops used an imaginative third option.
GI’s who received a Dear John letter would stand up on a chair in the mess hall and read it out loud so everyone knew about the kiss-off.
It turns out if everyone knows, there was no shame because many of them had gone through the same ordeal themselves. The sharing garnered a lot of support, whiskey, and encouragement to find another love opportunity.
Sharing the news (truth) allowed the GI’s to let go of the past faster and move on.
This morning I was listening to On Being a fabulous podcast hosted by Krista Tippett (@KristaTippett).
She asked 2 questions that were of interest to me:
What is something in the other group’s thinking that you like?
What is something in your group’s thinking that makes you feel uncomfortable?
In letting the other group know what you like about their agenda you reveal something about yourself. You make it clear that you are listening to them. And you create the possibility of building a bridge between you and them.
By letting the other side know something that you are uncomfortable with in your own group’s agenda you show your openness to finding a better solution. Once again this creates an opportunity to build a bridge with the other group.
There is a scene I vaguely remember from Crocodile Dundee (1986 movie). Dundee is telling Sue (his love interest) why they don’t need Psychiatrists back in his small town.
If anyone has a problem they tell Walter (his sidekick).
Sue asks, “Is he a therapist?” Dundee answers, “No, he’s a gossip. He tells everyone else in the village about your problem. When everyone knows, you have nothing to hide. Problem solved!”
We spend so much time, effort and psychic energy keeping our secrets. Most of the time the only person that really care is us. And the FBI, my advice it’s best to keep them out of it.
To me, these three examples highlight the value of sharing what you are really thinking or what you are going through. Rather than weakening your position, it has the power to strengthen it.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section